My loves...

I really love reading blogs. I love what they preserve...the ups and downs of daily life. The details that will be forgotten if not written down. This week is Spring Break for Cody. He is perched on the edge of big changes and I feel that in the core of who I am. Scary. He is finishing up 6th grade. First year of middle school. When I look at his ever changing face I am struck at by the passage of time. He is just 6 years from college. Writing that seriously makes me feel sick.
The conversations that use to flow like water...questions, comments on everything around him have slowed. We still talk but they all seem so superficial. When the moments come when he opens up about something I latch on and try to soak in every second. I know that my opportunities to speak truth into his life are coming further and further apart. He is such a great kid. He has taught me so much. He is my guinea pig boy. I have learned things from being his mother that have made me a better mother to Maddox and Bennett. They owe him so much for that! I pray that he can look back at my life and see the mistakes (of which there were SO many) and not repeat them. Cody if you are reading this 20 years from now I hope you know that you are a treasure and that I love you beyond anything I could encompass in a simple blog. You made me a mother and you have enriched my life beyond measure.
Maddox, oh crazy Maddox. He is an ever flowing stream of imagination. He makes up stories with his "mans" all day long. They talk back and forth in his sweet little voice. He looks up to Cody so much. He loves to run around the house in his "boscurs" (boxers). Yesterday at Lazy 5 he said Mommy I am getting hot. I need to take my pants off and wear my boscurs!. And he would have done just that if I had let him. He is a funny funny kid. I love the energy he brings to our house. What a joy.
Bennett, sweet Bennett. He has become a handful! Maybe it is having 2 older brothers. He is wild wild wild. He already has a little temper. I wish I could say he gets that from Mark but anyone who knows Mark will know that simply isn't true. Between trying to escape through the dog door or up the stairs I can't take my eyes off him for a minute. He is headed toward early talking just like his brothers. He already identifies ball, mama, dada, nana (banana), and night night plus car noises. The rare moments that he curls up on us are so sweet. He loves balls and and car he can get his hands on. He crawls and pushes them across the floor all the time. Very cute. His laugh comes easily especially for Cody and Maddox. Sometimes Cody will get them both laughing in the back of the car. Bennett and Maddox sound so much alike that I can't even tell who's laugh is who.
All of the boys have birthdays coming up. Maddox at the end of May and Bennett and Cody in June. By the time summer is in full swing they will be 1, 3 and 12!! gulp!! When I found out Bennett was due right at Cody's birthday (they are 5 days apart) and only a couple weeks after Maddox I said I would have one birthday party for all of them. Too much to do a party every other week for 6 weeks! BUT then I re thought that. My mom made a huge deal of birthdays when I was growing up. I want them to feel special and well celebrated so we will have 3 parties to kick off our summer. Add a week at the beach and it is going to be a busy-but very fun- June for us.
So here it is...another blog post. They come fewer and fewer but I really do enjoy writing them and reading them so I try to keep it up. Honestly I am just trying to enjoy every moment of my boys childhood. Another lesson Cody has taught me...these days are so fleeting. Time will march on and my boys will grow up...whether I like it or not....even if the laundry and dishes don't get done.

Time...

Maddox gets rolls of toilet paper and puts them on his arms like boxing gloves and calls them his "beats". Such a funny kid!

He was not mad about getting paint on himself- he was mad that I took him away from it! Thank God he didn't pull the whole can over!

He was so proud of himself!!

Cody is playing basketball now. He is one sports loving kid.

I love this boy!

Where does time go? I feel my boys lives passing by so quickly. Cody is in the last half of his 6th grade year. Middle school really? He is playing percussion in the band this year and really loves it. His first concert was in Dec and he was so cute up there trying not to smile. One proud boy!He is such a great, fun kid. I am trying hard to pull back and let him be more responsible for himself but it is so hard. Have I given him what he needs to stand on his own? I pray so. My heart weighs heavy when I think of the few short years I have left of him here under my roof. It has all gone so fast. Tonight I called my mom and my mother in law to tell them that Bennett got his first tooth. Cody asked me if I did that when he got his first tooth. Of course I did! Sometimes I wonder if I have been a "good enough" mom to him- whatever that means. Then I know that even through all the mistakes I made (and there were alot of them) that I truly treasured Cody and who he is with all my heart. I am so lucky to be his mom.

Maddox, oh sweet Maddox. That boy sure keeps me laughing. He talks non-stop and can come up with some of the funniest things. A few days ago I was watching Olivia and Mason. Mason and Maddox were talking about what movie they were going to watch as Olivia tried to tell them they were not going to watch a movie at all. As series as he could be he said "Hush Olivia. Just hush." He drives Cody crazy always saying that Cody is not his best friend. I love that they tease each other like that- and that Cody actually cares about being his best friend : ) Maddox says his best friend is Hollister and boy does he love Holl! I love that he is growing up with friends that he will keep his whole life! (Warren's- you can never move away!)

Bennett is growing so fast I can hardly keep up. This week he has mastered crawling, sitting, and pulling up- as well as discovered the dishwasher, the dog food and water bowls, and a can of paint (yikes!). He is such a joy. I call him my baby love. I am sure one day he will hate that name but then again maybe one day when he is old he will like it again. He is still a very easy - naturally happy baby. He is being dedicated this weekend at church. Another one of those life markers moments that I will not get to experience with another baby. All the more reason to drink in this moment with him.

Thinking on being thankful....

I love Thanksgiving more this year than any other year ever. Not sure why that is but I really do. Not just for the insane amount of food! I have been thinking this afternoon about how much I have to be grateful for. I would never have imagined my life would be this crazy fun and amazing! I have so much running through my mind that I guess the easiest thing is just to get it all out on paper (or electronic paper anyway)....

I am thankful that God never gave up on me, especially when I gave up on myself.
I am grateful for my kids, who remind me often that life really is so much fun.
I am thankful for my husband, who makes me laugh more than any other person ever has.
I am thankful that Cody still wants to cuddle up next to me on the couch every morning and every night (just like he is doing right now!).
I am thankful for Bennett's sweet smile that greets me every time he sees me.
I am thankful for Maddox's contagious laugh and his wild child spirit!
I am thankful for the best grandparents on earth. They have prayed for me every day for as long as i have existed. Their love guides me even now.
I am thankful for my mom, even when we don't get see eye to eye. She has sacrificed so much to raise me alone and I owe her the world.
I am thankful for reconnecting with my dad. It has healed deep wounds that I had tried to ignore.
I am thankful for afternoons spent throwing the football with Cody- even if he does tease me for throwing like a girl and never catching a thing!
I am thankful for fun hours watching our favorite shows as a family, Survivor, Amazing Race, AI...
I am thankful for memories I know my boys will have when they are grown.
I am thankful that they will always have each other. I pray they will always be as close as they are today.
I am thankful for a roof over my head and food on my table.
I am thankful that Mark has been laid off twice now- it has taught us how to rely on God instead of ourselves. It has taught us trust we never would have known existed.
I am thankful for a husband I know is in it for the long haul.
I am thankful for his sweet words and crazy teasing- and that he knows when to do each.
I am thankful for fantastic in laws. I will never forget reading in a card they gave me at our wedding that they had been praying for me since the day Mark was born.
I am thankful for Bennett's sweet baby toes and how he loves to chew on them : )
I am thankful for Cody's love of life. He is the most resilient kid I have ever known.
I am thankful God chose me to be the mom to my three boys. I can't imagine one minute without them.
I am thankful for late night feedings, when I get a little quiet time with B.
I am thankful for Maddox wanting to go everywhere I go. I know there will come a time when he will not be with me all the time and I will miss these days so much.
I am thankful that my boys are all healthy. I will cherish tucking them in tonight and every night because I know many parents do not have that luxury.
I am thankful for friends who have walked through the last few years with me. I have been shown more grace, compassion and love that I could ever have imagined existed.
I am thankful that Cody loves his little bros, even when he says they drive him crazy.
I am thankful for cameras. I want to remember every moment of these years with my kids.
I am thankful for scrapbooking and the joy it brings to my soul.
I am thankful that Jesus broke through space and time to save me from myself.
I am thankful for freedoms I can never fully appreciate.
I am thankful for a husband that encourages me and believes in me every day.
I am thankful for Tuesday morning play dates. I so look forward to them these days.
I am thankful for W242, without which I am not sure what I would do.
I am thankful for how much God has given me and I pray I can be faithful in every detail.
I am thankful for love, for giving and receiving it.
I am thankful for Maddox's awestruck amazement at Christmas lights this year.
I am thankful that I have free access to my Savior and that he brings me soul a little more alive every day.
I am beyond grateful for the knowledge that my soul is safe no matter how much I screw up.

Wow it has been SO long since I updated this. I guess I am busier than I realize with these three crazy boys. Life continues to chug along at a break neck pace. Bennett is almost 5 months onnld now and still the easiest baby in the history of babies. He sleeps great, he eats great and he is never fussy for no reason. How did I get so lucky? The downside to that is that he makes me wany more babies...well not more babies really...just one more baby. But my wonderful husband says no way! Bennett is just happy wherever he is... jumpy thing-loves it, saucer- loves it, laying on the floor-loves it, Maddox roaring in his face-loves ..oh no wait he hates that. Maddox, oh Maddox what a mess he is. He is so dramatic lately. Drives me totally nuts. But then he turns on the charm and is so sweet! He loves to "nuggle" on the couch with me, drink yo baby, and watch a movie. He even asks for those things, in that order, every single day. I can not resist the snuggle request. I always make him promise that he will always snuggle with me on the couch. We will see how long that lasts! He is in a major mommy stage right now which is hard with Bennett around too. Maddox still talks more than any 2 year old I have ever seen. He can say some pretty nutty stuff. I have finally started keeping a list so I can add them to his scrap book. I can tell how clean my house is based on his attitude. When I take the time to really focus on cleaning he doesn't get as much attention and then pesters Bennett to tears. Poor Bennett he really has to be laid back to survive 2 older brothers. Cody isn't like that to Bennett yet. He is still super sweet to him.

Now Cody and Maddox that is a different story. Having grown up an only child it is simply amazing to me the bond of siblings. Cody and Madddox already push each others buttons. Cody does it by pushing the boundry when they are wrestling and pinning Maddox or just annoying him until he screams (which doesn't take long!). Or Cody pushes the limit on trying to get Maddox to hug or kiss him. It is so funny because Maddox knows that Cody wants that affection from him so he taunts him with it. Cody has tried so many times to get Maddox to say that Cody is his best friend and Maddox never will go for it. He insists that Hollister is his best friend. Drives Cody crazy! Very cute things you jsut can't get from anyone but your siblings. I pray they are always close. I know it is too early for them to graso right now but I try to tell them as much as possible that their brother is their most important ally in life. I want them to look out for each other, after they get done driving each other batty!

Cody has done pretty good with middle school so far. He has had a little bit of a learning curve but I knew that this year would be the year that would test him. He isn't the most organized kid (but than again is any 11 year old boy organized?) and having to change classes 6 times and deal with a locker was hard to start with. There were many days that we ended up back at school because he had forgotten something. He is in the band this year. He had to try out at the end of last year and got perrcussion which is what we really wanted. He plays the bells - which look like a xylaphone to me- and the snare drum. The first few days of practice with the drum sure tested my patience. It is SO loud. Now he just keeps a practice pad and home and the drum only comes home on Friday. I can't wait to see their first concert on Dec 15!

Pictures...

Just pictures on this one and one quick story I want to remember. I was telling my friend Amy today about this and she said I should post it here so I will always remember it. I just never want to forget these moments. I put Maddox down for his nap and Mark does the night time routine. We both lay with him for a few minutes when we put him down. He will say Mommy/Daddy lay with you and point to his pillow. It is so sweet. Well the last few days he has been asking to hold our hands when he goes to sleep. Then he will hold one and ask Hold two of ems? It is just precious. Lord please never let me forget the feeling my heart gets hearing his sweet little voice during those few mintues. I have known for 11 years now (since Cody was born) how much my mom loved me but I have been thinking about how that love will not fade even when my boys are grown men. It makes me want to always be aware of the fact that my husband was once that little adored boy and aware that his mom still loves and adores him like I will my boys. Anyway- got to rambling... there is another new post below this one about Bennett. Love to you all...

3's NOT a crowd! : )

Well he is here. And what a joy he is! Bennett Murray Roberts graced us with his presence on June 18 at 7:37 am weighing in at a big 9 pounds 1 ounce and 21 3/4 inches long. He is a great sleeper (THANK GOD!). He already goes 3 to 4 hour stretches at night and has some awake times during the day. Oh and how could I forget that he looks exactly like Maddox. I feel like I had twins- 2 years apart. My surgery and recovery this time have been alot harder. Not sure why but I am just ready to feel good and get back to regular life.

Cody has done just fine with his addition to our clan. He is such a laid back kid. He is taking some golf lessons this summer. He goes every Wednesday and is just loving it. He wants to go to the driving range every day. Luckily they also have a putting green there and Maddox has a big time playing on it too. Yeah Maddox loves golf too. Maddox is that kid that was born with a natural athletic streak. He can drop kick a ball, throw a ball int he air and whack it with a bat, play golf, and shoot hoops like nobody's business. It will be interesting to see how much of that comes out in Bennett.

Speaking of Maddox, he has adjusted remarkably well to this new brother gig. I was prepared for lots of acting out and hard times but there has been none of that. He just loves Bennett to death. He holds him all the time and tells everyone to be easy with him. It is super sweet. Maddox's current favorite activity is re-creating the Wipeout zone in our yard. He likes the show Wipeout and he will take Cody's wrestling men and swing them into the mud and then bounce them off one of his balls and then throw them into his water table - all the while making the uuuggghhh noises for them. It is so funny. He literally does it every day- in fact I can hear him outside at this very minute doing it. So cute!

Mark and I continue to pray about his job situation. He knows the job he is at now will end by the end of July. He feels lead to go into a non-profit type of work. We know that if that calling is from god then he will certainly provide the means. I can't wait to see how that plays out for him. I am so blessed to be married to a man with such a servants heart. I pray that our boys get that as well.

I forgot that I can't add pictures from this computer. I will log onto the laptop tonight and get some new ones added...

Just days to go....

We are on the final countdown to the arrival of our 3rd son. Only 12 days from now at the latest. I am anxious for that day to come. I am beyond worn out and just need a break from being pregnant. I can't wait to see how much he looks like Maddox and what his arrival does to this family. I am sure he will be a complete joy. Maddox knows all the stuff we are bringing down from the attic is Bennett's. He tells us all the time- Bennett's car seat- Bennett's jankie (what my boys call their blankies- carried down from Cody). It is so sweet. It will be interesting to see how he handles an actual needy baby being here.

Cody started summer on Friday. He was already bored Friday afternoon. He is taking golf lessons that start next week so that should help break up his week some. Luckily our basketball goal seems to be the neighborhood gathering place for all boys 7-15 so that helps too.

Well I intended for this to be longer but there is a little 2 year old boy wanting to play play-do calling me so I better run and take it in while I can. Hopefully the next time I write it will be with the announcement of our new arrival!