Thinking on being thankful....

I love Thanksgiving more this year than any other year ever. Not sure why that is but I really do. Not just for the insane amount of food! I have been thinking this afternoon about how much I have to be grateful for. I would never have imagined my life would be this crazy fun and amazing! I have so much running through my mind that I guess the easiest thing is just to get it all out on paper (or electronic paper anyway)....

I am thankful that God never gave up on me, especially when I gave up on myself.
I am grateful for my kids, who remind me often that life really is so much fun.
I am thankful for my husband, who makes me laugh more than any other person ever has.
I am thankful that Cody still wants to cuddle up next to me on the couch every morning and every night (just like he is doing right now!).
I am thankful for Bennett's sweet smile that greets me every time he sees me.
I am thankful for Maddox's contagious laugh and his wild child spirit!
I am thankful for the best grandparents on earth. They have prayed for me every day for as long as i have existed. Their love guides me even now.
I am thankful for my mom, even when we don't get see eye to eye. She has sacrificed so much to raise me alone and I owe her the world.
I am thankful for reconnecting with my dad. It has healed deep wounds that I had tried to ignore.
I am thankful for afternoons spent throwing the football with Cody- even if he does tease me for throwing like a girl and never catching a thing!
I am thankful for fun hours watching our favorite shows as a family, Survivor, Amazing Race, AI...
I am thankful for memories I know my boys will have when they are grown.
I am thankful that they will always have each other. I pray they will always be as close as they are today.
I am thankful for a roof over my head and food on my table.
I am thankful that Mark has been laid off twice now- it has taught us how to rely on God instead of ourselves. It has taught us trust we never would have known existed.
I am thankful for a husband I know is in it for the long haul.
I am thankful for his sweet words and crazy teasing- and that he knows when to do each.
I am thankful for fantastic in laws. I will never forget reading in a card they gave me at our wedding that they had been praying for me since the day Mark was born.
I am thankful for Bennett's sweet baby toes and how he loves to chew on them : )
I am thankful for Cody's love of life. He is the most resilient kid I have ever known.
I am thankful God chose me to be the mom to my three boys. I can't imagine one minute without them.
I am thankful for late night feedings, when I get a little quiet time with B.
I am thankful for Maddox wanting to go everywhere I go. I know there will come a time when he will not be with me all the time and I will miss these days so much.
I am thankful that my boys are all healthy. I will cherish tucking them in tonight and every night because I know many parents do not have that luxury.
I am thankful for friends who have walked through the last few years with me. I have been shown more grace, compassion and love that I could ever have imagined existed.
I am thankful that Cody loves his little bros, even when he says they drive him crazy.
I am thankful for cameras. I want to remember every moment of these years with my kids.
I am thankful for scrapbooking and the joy it brings to my soul.
I am thankful that Jesus broke through space and time to save me from myself.
I am thankful for freedoms I can never fully appreciate.
I am thankful for a husband that encourages me and believes in me every day.
I am thankful for Tuesday morning play dates. I so look forward to them these days.
I am thankful for W242, without which I am not sure what I would do.
I am thankful for how much God has given me and I pray I can be faithful in every detail.
I am thankful for love, for giving and receiving it.
I am thankful for Maddox's awestruck amazement at Christmas lights this year.
I am thankful that I have free access to my Savior and that he brings me soul a little more alive every day.
I am beyond grateful for the knowledge that my soul is safe no matter how much I screw up.

Wow it has been SO long since I updated this. I guess I am busier than I realize with these three crazy boys. Life continues to chug along at a break neck pace. Bennett is almost 5 months onnld now and still the easiest baby in the history of babies. He sleeps great, he eats great and he is never fussy for no reason. How did I get so lucky? The downside to that is that he makes me wany more babies...well not more babies really...just one more baby. But my wonderful husband says no way! Bennett is just happy wherever he is... jumpy thing-loves it, saucer- loves it, laying on the floor-loves it, Maddox roaring in his face-loves ..oh no wait he hates that. Maddox, oh Maddox what a mess he is. He is so dramatic lately. Drives me totally nuts. But then he turns on the charm and is so sweet! He loves to "nuggle" on the couch with me, drink yo baby, and watch a movie. He even asks for those things, in that order, every single day. I can not resist the snuggle request. I always make him promise that he will always snuggle with me on the couch. We will see how long that lasts! He is in a major mommy stage right now which is hard with Bennett around too. Maddox still talks more than any 2 year old I have ever seen. He can say some pretty nutty stuff. I have finally started keeping a list so I can add them to his scrap book. I can tell how clean my house is based on his attitude. When I take the time to really focus on cleaning he doesn't get as much attention and then pesters Bennett to tears. Poor Bennett he really has to be laid back to survive 2 older brothers. Cody isn't like that to Bennett yet. He is still super sweet to him.

Now Cody and Maddox that is a different story. Having grown up an only child it is simply amazing to me the bond of siblings. Cody and Madddox already push each others buttons. Cody does it by pushing the boundry when they are wrestling and pinning Maddox or just annoying him until he screams (which doesn't take long!). Or Cody pushes the limit on trying to get Maddox to hug or kiss him. It is so funny because Maddox knows that Cody wants that affection from him so he taunts him with it. Cody has tried so many times to get Maddox to say that Cody is his best friend and Maddox never will go for it. He insists that Hollister is his best friend. Drives Cody crazy! Very cute things you jsut can't get from anyone but your siblings. I pray they are always close. I know it is too early for them to graso right now but I try to tell them as much as possible that their brother is their most important ally in life. I want them to look out for each other, after they get done driving each other batty!

Cody has done pretty good with middle school so far. He has had a little bit of a learning curve but I knew that this year would be the year that would test him. He isn't the most organized kid (but than again is any 11 year old boy organized?) and having to change classes 6 times and deal with a locker was hard to start with. There were many days that we ended up back at school because he had forgotten something. He is in the band this year. He had to try out at the end of last year and got perrcussion which is what we really wanted. He plays the bells - which look like a xylaphone to me- and the snare drum. The first few days of practice with the drum sure tested my patience. It is SO loud. Now he just keeps a practice pad and home and the drum only comes home on Friday. I can't wait to see their first concert on Dec 15!

Pictures...

Just pictures on this one and one quick story I want to remember. I was telling my friend Amy today about this and she said I should post it here so I will always remember it. I just never want to forget these moments. I put Maddox down for his nap and Mark does the night time routine. We both lay with him for a few minutes when we put him down. He will say Mommy/Daddy lay with you and point to his pillow. It is so sweet. Well the last few days he has been asking to hold our hands when he goes to sleep. Then he will hold one and ask Hold two of ems? It is just precious. Lord please never let me forget the feeling my heart gets hearing his sweet little voice during those few mintues. I have known for 11 years now (since Cody was born) how much my mom loved me but I have been thinking about how that love will not fade even when my boys are grown men. It makes me want to always be aware of the fact that my husband was once that little adored boy and aware that his mom still loves and adores him like I will my boys. Anyway- got to rambling... there is another new post below this one about Bennett. Love to you all...

3's NOT a crowd! : )

Well he is here. And what a joy he is! Bennett Murray Roberts graced us with his presence on June 18 at 7:37 am weighing in at a big 9 pounds 1 ounce and 21 3/4 inches long. He is a great sleeper (THANK GOD!). He already goes 3 to 4 hour stretches at night and has some awake times during the day. Oh and how could I forget that he looks exactly like Maddox. I feel like I had twins- 2 years apart. My surgery and recovery this time have been alot harder. Not sure why but I am just ready to feel good and get back to regular life.

Cody has done just fine with his addition to our clan. He is such a laid back kid. He is taking some golf lessons this summer. He goes every Wednesday and is just loving it. He wants to go to the driving range every day. Luckily they also have a putting green there and Maddox has a big time playing on it too. Yeah Maddox loves golf too. Maddox is that kid that was born with a natural athletic streak. He can drop kick a ball, throw a ball int he air and whack it with a bat, play golf, and shoot hoops like nobody's business. It will be interesting to see how much of that comes out in Bennett.

Speaking of Maddox, he has adjusted remarkably well to this new brother gig. I was prepared for lots of acting out and hard times but there has been none of that. He just loves Bennett to death. He holds him all the time and tells everyone to be easy with him. It is super sweet. Maddox's current favorite activity is re-creating the Wipeout zone in our yard. He likes the show Wipeout and he will take Cody's wrestling men and swing them into the mud and then bounce them off one of his balls and then throw them into his water table - all the while making the uuuggghhh noises for them. It is so funny. He literally does it every day- in fact I can hear him outside at this very minute doing it. So cute!

Mark and I continue to pray about his job situation. He knows the job he is at now will end by the end of July. He feels lead to go into a non-profit type of work. We know that if that calling is from god then he will certainly provide the means. I can't wait to see how that plays out for him. I am so blessed to be married to a man with such a servants heart. I pray that our boys get that as well.

I forgot that I can't add pictures from this computer. I will log onto the laptop tonight and get some new ones added...

Just days to go....

We are on the final countdown to the arrival of our 3rd son. Only 12 days from now at the latest. I am anxious for that day to come. I am beyond worn out and just need a break from being pregnant. I can't wait to see how much he looks like Maddox and what his arrival does to this family. I am sure he will be a complete joy. Maddox knows all the stuff we are bringing down from the attic is Bennett's. He tells us all the time- Bennett's car seat- Bennett's jankie (what my boys call their blankies- carried down from Cody). It is so sweet. It will be interesting to see how he handles an actual needy baby being here.

Cody started summer on Friday. He was already bored Friday afternoon. He is taking golf lessons that start next week so that should help break up his week some. Luckily our basketball goal seems to be the neighborhood gathering place for all boys 7-15 so that helps too.

Well I intended for this to be longer but there is a little 2 year old boy wanting to play play-do calling me so I better run and take it in while I can. Hopefully the next time I write it will be with the announcement of our new arrival!

Today....

It is funny to me how the oddest of moments can strike me and I can be brought almost to tears. Today has been a little drizzly and at one point Maddox and I were outside in that drizzle. He wanted to jump on the trampoline so I decided why not. So jump we did. Me at about 34 weeks pregnant and him having a ball. It struck me how glad I was that I took in that moment. I know it will be harder to find those moments when we add a third boy to our house. Yet I know that the moments with all of them will be even greater. I am grateful to be able to be home with my boys and I would not trade this life for any thing on earth.

Maddox is in his big boy bed full time now. He has been for a week. The crib has been remade into a baby bed again and Maddox even calls that room the baby's room now (he moved rooms- not just beds). He knows mommy has a baby in her belly and he has been to the doc with me a couple times. So now he pulls up my shirt and says " doctor look at mommy's belly" It is so cute. There is nothing he can't say and I am amazed at how much that little boy can understand. He is really interacting with other kids too, especially his friend Hollister from church. They both get so excited to see each other. We can't even mention church without him saying; I go see Hollister- I go play Hollister over and over and over. It is really cute.

Cody is doing good as well. He is looking forward to summer (of course) and is even excited about having another brother. At night after Maddox is in bed we usually watch something on tv together while having a snack. He always lays his head or his hand on my belly and tries to find a part of the baby. It is so sweet. He is the best big brother and was obviously never intended to be an only child : ) He takes to the roll of big brother perfectly and boy am I glad!

8 weeks and counting....

Easter at my grandparents in GA. Maddox just used his whole hand to fish the eggs from the dye! Every little kid needs to know how to drink from a garden hose!!!

We are down to 8 weeks with this final pregnancy. I can't say I am savoring it because I am really ready for it to be over. I am sure I will look back somewhere in the very far future and miss that little life kicking around inside me but for now I just hate being so big, the swollen legs, being so tired, etc etc etc. I am sure the third time is much harder on your body. At least it has been on mine. But we do look forward to meeting this little boy. Maddox seems to grasp that there is a baby in there. He points at my belly several times a week and say s baby in there- and Mommy have a baby. I can't wait to see how he actually reacts to him though. Our scheduled c section is on for June 18. About 3 weeks after Maddox's 2nd birthday and only 5 days before Cody's. Going to be an interesting month for us for the rest of our lives!

Maddox continues to be such a love! I need to get him in his big boy bed full time but am so unmotivated. He is napping great now and I am afraid I will ruin that. He is also the best eater I have ever seen. I take partial credit for that- I was determined that would be the case! Lots of talk of whether picky eaters are born or created. I say created so I try hard to not assume he won't eat anything and to give him lots of variety. So far he is a champion eater. He asks for beans about everyday and will eat any kind I put in front of him. I never force him to eat anything I just keep offering until he tries it. Anyway he really is a great kid!

Cody is into soccer for the spring again. Mark is his coach and they both love it. I love all the time they have together out there. Cody is so blessed to have Mark (like this whole family is)! I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that Cody will be in Jr High next year. It starts in 6th grade here. They are just completing the building of his new school and every time I drive by I am dumbfounded that my first born baby is going to be there next year. He will be 11 in June. Crazy!!!

This picture is from Easter at my in-laws house. Maddox has tons of fun with his cousins!
A rare picture of my growing belly. I try to stay out of pictures but Mark got this one and I figured I should keep it.

We took the boys to the zoo a few weeks ago. Maddox had the best time. This is him laughing at the Puffins diving in the water to get fish.

Still holding onto my little boy!

Maddox at the zoo pointing at something with Daddy and Papaw!

LIfe rolls on...

Sorry the pictures always post before the writing- This is Maddox and I on the ferry you ride to get into Disney.


Maddox loved watching Cody in the snow but wanted nothing to do with being in it.... details below

Maddox and the snow...he is a master of the lip pout.

The boys at Disney. I LOVE THIS PICTURE!!!

Cody and Maddox looking out the plane window on our flight to Florida. They both did so good on the flight. It was Cody's first time flying.

We bought both the boys hats at Disney. It was their one souveneir.

My many random thoughts for Monday morning...

1. I can't believe my "baby" is going to be 11 in June. He is changing so much. I could not have asked for a better son. People are always telling me how great they think he is too. For a 10 year old he is super responsible, especially with his little brother.

2. Maddox continues to amaze us. He has more personality than any kid I have ever met. And talk, good grief does he talk. I am always hearing how people can't believe how well he talks. He can say anything you ask him too. He is boy to the bone and points out every tractor, motorcycle, school bus, dog, "man running", airplane and anything else he sees while we are driving down the road. His latest phrase is "settle down spicy". I tell Cody to settle down feisty sometimes and he picked it up. It is too cute.

3. Cody was thrilled with the snow last week. He had to best time snow ball fighting with Mark and some boys in the neighborhood. I had to drag him in just long enough to get his clothes dry and his hands warm and he was back out in it again. We have a big field behind our house and it has a good sledding hill. Even I got out down it once.

4. Maddox on the other hand wanted nothing to do with the snow. He kept saying " no touch a snow" every time we left the house for days. He loved watching the boys threw the window but that was as close as he wanted to be. There is one picture I posted of when Mark stood him in the snow. Not a happy boy.

5. I continue to grow by the minute. This third little boy is just as wiggly as his brothers. We are pretty sure his name will be Bennett Murray unless something else comes along that we can't resist. I try to imagine our house with 3 boys. I truly can't wait. I am so excited for them to have each other. We were telling Cody how they will pay him back for all the pestering he does of us. When Cody is 18 the little boys will be 8 and 10. And I am sure they will want to be wherever Cody is all the time. Cody just laughs and says they can hang with him- he won't care. Of course he might change his mind in the next few years.

6. We took the boys to Disney in February. I know Maddox is too little to really remember it but I am so glad we went. I love seeing the amazement in his eyes. He likes Mickey so he loved seeing all the Mickey stuff. Cody is still at the age where he will ride the little kid rides and not mind. Cody and Mark got to ride some bigger rides while Maddox napped in his stroller and mommy rested. It was a great day- exhausting but great.

7. Mark is still working away. I think it has been hardest for Maddox. He still cries for his daddy several times a day. He asks where's daddy all the time. He will get my cell phone and say "I call daddy." It is really sweet. We are grateful he has a job though we don't know how long it will last as the site he is on is set to finish in Sept. BUT we know for sure that God will provide and that's all that matters.

I guess I better wrap it up before I drag on too long. More later.....

My how things change....

Still loving Cordur-boy

How sweet are they???
Maddox wants to be where ever Cody is, doing whatever he is doing.

Mark is now officially employed again. I am so happy for him. He has done a good job of walking in faith that God would care for us but I know after 8 or 9 months it has to be hard on a man's pride. He starts tomorrow. I am not sure what on earth I will do without him home all day! Maddox will sure miss him too. But we are glad that he gets to get back to a normal job/routine.

Cody and Maddox are doing great. Cody continues to do great in school and is loving playing basketball. I love being a mom to boys who play sports. I guess it is a good thing that I love it because well you all know why. Maddox is such a ham. He talks more than any child I have ever seen. He knows shapes, colors and can count to 10. Not bad for a 20 month old. He rarely says anything in one word phrases anymore- it is all sentences.

We are still out on a name for baby #3. We have a few more on the table- both Balian and Deacon are out I think because we can't agree on those. I keep taking surveys of my girlfriends and one name keeps coming out on top- Bennett. We shall see though, we shall see.

Too much thinking time....

Not sure why but my mind has wondered alot lately on to what I really want for my boys as they grow. I think some of it is because I had the grave thought that Cody's time with us here at home is probably over half over. In less time than he has been here he will be off to college to become a man standing on his own two feet. What do I really want them to be- not like in a job but more in their character and am I doing a good job of giving them those qualities? I desperately want them to grow to love people. Not just people of the same race, ethnicity, financial status, place in life etc, but truly love and care for people who God puts in their path. I want them to find their identity in their true Father so they are able to give that love to other people freely. I want them to give their lives away so that true life can be found. I want them to always be grounded in this family. To know that they are loved beyond measure so they can move into a hurting world and make a difference. (So boys if you are reading this 20 years down the road- how did I do??) One of my favorite quotes is "I am only one person, but I am one. I can not do everything but I can do something. I will not let what I can not do get in the way of what I can." I want that attitude ingrained them! Any ideas on how to make sure I am doing that??
My women's group at church was talking about ways that the church does a terrible job in today's world of conveying love to lost people. There was a news story about a group that was trying to open a transition housing project here in Charlotte for women newly released from prison so they can get on their feet with their children. Would you believe that a church near it was protesting it? The pastor had to nerve to say that he thought it was a great idea- just not near their kids!!! WHAT??? Is he even reading the same Bible as me? Drives me nuts!!

ANYWAY- that is my soap box for the night. I just had to type all that and get it off my chest.

On a lighter note, we are having issues come up with another boy name! Nothing has really hit us yet. Anyone got any ideas? The only two really on the table now are Deacon and Balian. What do you think of those? Be honest! We have awhile before we have to know but I am such a planner and want this decision made as soon as possible! Help!

More pictures to come soon!

Brotherhood

Well I hate to say I told everyone so BUT I told everyone so. I just knew we would have another boy. I have always felt like I would be a more to all boys and that is how it is. Yesterday was exciting anyway though. I loved seeing him wiggling around in there. There was no denying he was a boy- he was proud to show it off. I savor those moments as they are the last time I will ever see that happening in my own body. That is both sad and joyful! 3 is plenty for us. I can't wait to see him and see how much he looks like Maddox. We are out on names for now except that we know his middle name will be Murray after Mark's grandfather.

I have been terrible at updating because of my new friend facebook.com. Man is that thing ever addicting! It has been great to connect with people I worked with and stay in better touch with friends I see every week. I just love it.

I never did post Christmas pictures. Maybe one day I will get around to that.....

Drum roll please.....

It's a BOY! Yes another boy. But I love them and they are so much fun (and no drama!). So I can't imagine being sad for even one second about adding another! More tomorrow!

The story of Cordur-boy

I took this one tonight.... This was his first night with Cordur-boy

I just love this. When Mark was little he had a bear - most of you have probably read the book- his name is Corduroy. Mark called him Cordur-boy. His mom holds onto everything (note to self- hold onto everything!) and last week she gave Maddox Cordur-boy. He simply loves him. The bear itself is pushing 30 years old and so he is all worn out and faded. His fur is pushed down and the cords on his overalls are worn out. But that matters not to my little boy. The first night he slept with Corduboy he spent 25 mintues in his crib in the dark saying to him- What's that? That's your nose, What's that? That's your hair. What's that? That's your hands, and so one and so on through every body part and through all his clothes and buttons etc. It was the sweetest thing ever. I managed to get some on tape and I got the pictures below, one from just a few minutes ago. I never want to forget things like this.